I read a really interesting chapter this week on the subject of same-sex attraction (SSA). The author of the article, Dean Byrd, gave some really good facts about studies that have been done on SSA. A lot of the information from these studies has been misinterpreted by the media, misleading a lot of people. And in a lot of instances these studies have been done by those with SSA. I'm not saying that all these researchers skew the facts - some have found information that goes against their beliefs and thus changed their beliefs - but some have not tried to correct those who misinterpret their findings, like the media.
The article talked about the different factors that influence SSA. The first was genetics. We can't assume that people WILL be attracted to the same gender based on genes alone. This has been reinforced by studies done with identical twins. If SSA was completely up to genes then every pair of identical twins with an SSA gene (which is also a false concept) would act identically in regards to SSA. An interesting perspective from Dr. Janet Cummings says, “The belief that homosexuality is always inbred flies in the face of available evidence that genetics, childhood environment, and personal choice are all factors. Granted, some may be more salient than others, but from the genetic standpoint alone, the genes responsible would have disappeared throughout the millennia from lack of reproductive activity.”
I definitely believe that SSA, just like other aspects of a person, is based in large part on environment, which makes me think about how so many people are pushing for gay and lesbian marriage to be legalized. If gay marriage becomes the norm, I believe that a lot more people will consider SSA a normal tendency and just another route for them in having a family. I believe that these would both be detrimental to our society. I am completely in favor of those with SSA having equal rights as heterosexuals, because we are all God's children and all have fundamental rights. However, I don't support gay marriage because it goes directly against Heavenly Father's commandment to multiply and replenish the earth.
An interesting study found that 46 percent of gay men and 22 percent of lesbian women were sexually abused as children. 68 percent of those with SSA didn't identify as such until after they had been abused. Also, those who didn't connect with their same-sex parent had a greater tendency to SSA.
Also, even if the genetics and the environment give a greater predisposition towards SSA, there is always agency! I firmly believe that the choices you make determine your desires. Brother Williams, our teacher (who is also a counselor) gave steps to overcoming SSA. 1. Stop doing the things that increase feelings of SSA, whether they are actions with other people, virtual, or through thoughts. 2. Learn to have healthy friendships with those of the same gender. Recognize that intimacy and sexuality are different. Everyone has the need for intimacy, or closeness with others. Intimacy can and should be with both genders - sexuality is meant to be with those of the opposite gender. 3. Seek appropriate intimacy with those of the opposite gender. 4. Turn to Heavenly Father for help.
I also learned about the less-touted research on those with SSA tendencies who try to overcome them. A lot of advocates for SSA have tried to argue that you can't change those tendencies. Studies have shown that belief to be false. In one study, 65 percent of those who went through psychological care to try to overcome SSA recovered after five years.
Brother Williams also pointed out that as a counselor, he has met with many people who have SSA. He has almost without exception, seen a pattern in their stories. We'll take the hypothetical story of a young boy. On the scale of feminine to masculine, he is more towards the middle than most boys. This leads him to enjoy doing different things than other boys. The other boys might start teasing him and even calling him gay. He might begin to believe these labels. When the boy gets a little bit older and the boys and girls are starting to become interested in each other, he might feel different. Whereas the other boys have spent their time together up to this point, the boy has spent much of his time either alone or with girls. Thus, while other boys are becoming interested in girls because they are different, this boy feels the boys are different, because he hasn't had time around them. This is especially true if the boy's father does give him healthy affection. What should be a reality of appropriate same-gender affection is more of a novelty. Now, the scale can tip if the boy experiments. He may feel aroused and this, to him, "confirms" that he is gay. This is also true, if the boy is a victim of sexual abuse, especially from someone of the same gender. He believes the feelings he has are proof that he is gay. He may look back at other occasions and think to himself "Maybe I was gay earlier too. I remember this instance..." His paradigm becomes skewed. While all this is happening, he may be continually labeled as gay, which reinforces the untruth.
There is such power in labeling. We should never label other people, because it has powerful repercussions.
All in all, we all seek intimacy, closeness with others. We must give others, especially our children, the appropriate intimacy they need or they will search for it in other avenues.
We would do well to remember that attributes are neither male or female, and that some of Christ's greatest attributes were kindness, nurturing, and gentleness.
If you are interested in getting a deeper understanding on this subject, look into chapter 8, "Homosexuality - What Science Can and Cannot Say" by Dean Byrd, from Understanding Same-Sex Attraction - LDS Edition.
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